We hold ourselves to these unrealistic standards of perfection and then we judge ourselves when we don’t live up to them. The thing is, we’re not supposed to be perfect; perfection isn’t possible. But transformation is. All of us has the capacity to change, to learn and to grow no matter what our circumstances. I study how people change, how people transform and one of the most effective vehicles I’ve found is mindfulness. My own journey into mindfulness was unexpected. All of our mind wanders, on average, 47% of the time. That’s almost half of our lives that we’re missing. So part of mindfulness is simply learning to train the mind in how to be here. What you practice grows stronger.
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Mindfulness isn’t just about paying attention, it’s about how we pay attention; with kindness. Mindfulness also involves acceptance, meaning that we pay attention to our thoughts and feelings without judging them—without believing, for instance, that there’s a “right” or “wrong” way to think or feel in a given moment. When we practice mindfulness, our thoughts tune into what we’re sensing in the present moment rather than rehashing the past or imagining the future. Increasing your capacity for mindfulness supports many attitudes that contribute to a satisfied life. Being mindful makes it easier to savour the pleasures in life as they occur, helps you become fully engaged in activities, and creates a greater capacity to deal with adverse events. By focusing on the here and now, many people who practice mindfulness find that they are less likely to get caught up in worries about the future or regrets over the past, are less preoccupied with concerns about success and self-esteem, and are better able to form deep connections with others. Here’s how to tune into mindfulness throughout the day:
- Set aside some time.
- Observe the present moment as it is.
- Let your judgments roll by.
- Return to observing the present moment as it is.
- Be kind to your wandering mind.
The work is to just keep doing it. Results will accrue. As you spend time practicing mindfulness, you’ll probably find yourself feeling kinder, calmer, and more patient. These shifts in your experience are likely to generate changes in other parts of your life as well. While mindfulness is innate, it can be cultivated through proven techniques. Here are some examples:
- Seated, walking, standing, and moving meditation (it’s also possible lying down but often leads to sleep);
- Short pauses we insert into everyday life;
- Merging meditation practice with other activities, such as yoga or sports.
That’s it. That’s the practice. It’s often been said that it’s very simple, but it’s not necessarily easy. As I said above, The work is to just keep doing it. Results will accrue.
Mindfulness is a way of befriending ourselves and our experience.
- Jon Kabat-Zinn
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